


Escapism

by Curify (Keidence), vallerian



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Comedy, Depression, F/M, Gen, Magic, Multi, Other, POV First Person, References to memes, Self-Indulgent, Violence, artwork included, inner conflict, mostly - Freeform, this was written as therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-09-27 15:07:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20409772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keidence/pseuds/Curify, https://archiveofourown.org/users/vallerian/pseuds/vallerian
Summary: For just a moment, reality shifted. A single moment of chaos causing two worlds to collide. In a blink of an eye, the feeling is gone and life resumes. No one notices when people go missing; nor do they notice the brief flash of green light that engulfed them mere seconds ago.Violeta and Kei find themselves getting off the dimension train at the wrong stop, being unceremoniously dropped on top a hard and unusually furry object. Misunderstandings lead to accusations while the world tears itself apart. And when the world breaks, someone has to fix it.





	1. Prologue

Empty.

That's how I felt, stepping onto the train platform. Everything around me blurred into a mix of noise and color, drowned out by my own thoughts. 

What had I come down to the city for? I couldn't remember; had there been a reason at all? I could barely recall the faces of those who I talked to today. No names came to mind. Where had I gone for the few hours the sun had shone? I glared up to the sky; dark rain clouds threatened to spill over. I hadn't brought an umbrella.

I looked down to the train tracks, past the yellow caution line. Decades old steel stood strong among strands of green weeds, and I marveled how easy those plants withstood the heaviness of a passing train — their roots never bending even under the pressure of ten thousand pounds of heavy metal and heat.

I sucked in a breath, shoving my hands into my worn jacket, and looked away from the budding weeds that swayed in front of me. A second later, the train plowed through and stopped with a screech that could deafen ears. I watched as the doors slid open and I quickly made my way onto the train without a word. 

_ I'm useless here _.


	2. Falling

As soon as I got home, I unpacked my bag and opened my laptop. There wasn’t anything to watch or read, and I had played through all the games that were stored away in my computer. I looked away from the screen and to the room around me, heaving a sigh. I hadn’t cleaned up before I left and I was sure that my roommates would comment on how messy I’ve been lately. The piles of clothes on the floor had them concerned; I hate clutter and they knew that. But with my stormy thoughts and declining health, I gave up trying to seem orderly. 

A knock on my door startled me out of my thoughts and I sat up. I shoved my computer to the side as I stood, face strewn into a frown. I yanked the creaky door open and found myself staring at one of my roommates; a stone-faced woman who had a dark sense of humor. Kei was always the one who I could rely on, and she was the only friend I had within this house. The other two roommates were always high or shitfaced in their rooms. Or in each others rooms. Kei and I didn’t like them, but they were paying rent, so I didn’t complain to their faces.

“I can’t lug grocery bags on my own, so you’re coming with me.” Kei spoke with a no-nonsense attitude before leaving to grab her N7 sweater and half-broken umbrella that she refused to replace. “So I have something to beat the muggers with,” she would say.

Knowing that my other roommates wouldn’t help, I followed her out as I slipped into my sweater. The rain fell in torrents and the holes in my well-worn sweater wouldn’t do anything to keep it off me. As we stepped outside, I couldn’t help but scowl at the two sluggish bodies that shoved us beside them. Camille and Coven laughed at some inside joke and I squared my shoulders, watching Kei flip them off behind their backs. 

I shook my head as we made our way to the grocery store, trying my best to stay under the side of the umbrella that hadn’t caved in. It took us an hour to get to the grocery store, and an hour more to run around for everything we needed. We walked out with a total of ten bags between the two of us. 

It was still raining, although worse now. Thunder and lightning tore through the sky, and we hurried to make our way back as fast as we could with five bags strung on each arm.

“I don't think I can carry five bags of canned corn for an hour.” I watched as Kei shot an Icy glare at me, moving her hand to flip me off, but couldn’t without dropping her bags. “I mean it— I don't have that strength. Unlike you— How are you so strong for someone _so small?_” The last part came out as a whisper as I chuckled at her efforts to flip me off.

“What the fuck did you say to me, bitch? Did you just call me short?” Although her words seemed harsh, I knew she was joking. Our conversations always included merciless teasing. We turned off the usual path home to one that was overgrown with bushes and weeds, while Kei gave me a mischievous grin that _usually_ meant trouble. 

“We’re not going fence jumping, are we?” I groaned, slumping my shoulders dramatically. “Please let this be a normal field trip.”

“With this rain? No way. But we’re still cutting through people’s yards.” I eyed the small woman in front of me as she spoke, the idea of trespassing through backyards slightly bemusing. 

As we silently weaved around fallen trees and puddles of mud, we came across a clearing. I stopped instantly, as we were surrounded by trees and high metal fences. Kei began fiddling around with a man-made opening in one of the fences. 

“You didn't make this hole, did you?” She had turned away from me, bags pulled up to her shoulders and umbrella propped up by the fence. She completely ignored me before standing fully, trying her best to hide her grin.

“All we have to do is go through here and another fence— ” She began, before a loud bang and flash of light cut her off. Her face fell into one of shock.

I quickly turned to see what had spooked her. To my surprise and absolute fear, I saw something that looked like it had come out of the twilight zone. 

“Uh. What the fuck?” My voice shook with fear. The area in front us looked shattered, broken like a mirror. My eyes couldn't focus, my brain unable to comprehend what was before me. 

“Did that lighting just… break the sky? Damn, did Coven slip an edible into my breakfast this morning?” Kei stepped back, eyeing the green tendrils that escaped the opening in front of us.

“I'm seeing it too.” I shook my head, “Do you think we’ve been in the Matrix this whole time?” I tried to joke, but my voice trembled as I spoke.

“If we are, then Neo sure is taking his sweet fucking time getting here.” Kei made to turn, hands gripping the umbrella like a weapon. The bags on my arms weighed heavier and I felt myself step back further. 

“ Let's just g— ” I began, voice low. I stopped immediately as something tied itself around my throat. I cried out in surprise and Kei did the same. Looking down, I saw a green tendril of what looked like smoke curling around me. I wasn't sure what it was and I didn’t want to know.

She moved to help, but the same smokey tentacle thing grabbed her arm. She immediately dropped the bags from one arm and reached for her umbrella to beat back the offending green appendage. It began to drag us back into where it had come from and we couldn't do anything but struggle.

In a blink of an eye, we were flung into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy!  
We're still figuring out formatting, so if you have any ideas, let us know : )


	3. "Fuck, it's cold."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it where any other place, I don't think either Kei nor I would complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the progression is really.. all over the place.  
Hopefully we'll be able to update this once a week, and if not that, twice a month?  
Let us know what you think and what we could change!  
The image is drawn by me, Vallerian

** CHAPTER 2 **

* * *

I don't know how long we were falling. It seemed endless, the darkness around us swallowed us whole. Then it stopped, all too suddenly, and we hit the ground with a hard thud. My senses hit me like a ton of bricks and I forced myself to breathe. The air smelled of sulfur and I had to try not to cough out a lung. Kei was swearing beside me as I rolled onto my back. The ground felt cold and warm all at once and I resisted the urge to curl up in pain.

There was shouting around us, the loudness of it forcing me to open my eyes. I groaned at how bright the world was before looking for my friend. 

“Fuck. I think I got corn up my ass,” Kei grumbled before I heard her shout and scoot towards me. I sat up and blinked away the blur that had covered my eyes. “Okay, I really don't know what kind of drugs I'm on but what the fuck?” I stole a quick glance to my friend and gasped at what I saw— She had landed unceremoniously on something covered in metal and… fur? I only recognized it as a human being when he sat up and clutched his head.

“I am never getting close to a maker-forsaken rift ever again,” he groaned. The man began to stand with the help of an armed soldier— a woman with dark hair and a familiar scar on her cheek. I shook my head once, then twice, before turning towards Kei who looked more than a little confused.

“Did we get thrown into a really realistic Dragon Age LARP or...?” I whispered frantically. “ You fell on a really good looking Cullen cosplayer.” I looked around, trying to keep my anxiety at bay and failing as the woman in front of us unsheathed her very shiny and very sharp sword and pointed it towards our very vulnerable necks. I couldn't wrap my head around what I was seeing. 

I looked away from her to see where we had landed. Among the fire and charred bodies, I saw another group beyond us, surrounding an unconscious man. It seemed as if they were inspecting his injuries and lifting him up by the shoulders. His head hung limp and his face was extremely pale, stringy blond hair sticking to the blood that coated his cheeks. The people around him gave me more of a scare; A woman cloaked in a hood with her hands clutching a wooden bow stood nearest to us. On one side of her stood a tall bald man with pointed ears, and a shorter… human or dwarf on the other. I looked towards Kei again, who continued to openly stare at them.

“Be wary, Cassandra. They could be Demons!" The woman with the bow came towards us, weapon drawn and ready to fire. I got a full look at her and squirmed under her piercing glare. She looked exactly like Leliana, the very much  _ fictional _ spymaster of Dragon Age. To be exact, they all looked like their fictional counterparts. I was beginning to feel thoroughly creeped out. 

"No, I'm pretty sure we're both human." Kei's no-nonsense voice chimed in. She crossed her arms to her chest but her eyes betrayed the fear that she was feeling. "I know I just landed on your friend there, and I’m really sorry about that, but I don’t think that warrants an arrow to the face.” 

“Do you really think more demons would come through after Golden Boy closed the damn rift? Calm down, Seeker.” A stout man who resembled Varric Tethras in voice and image, shuffled to stand beside Cassandra. “They’re probably as confused as you are. See? You’re scaring them.” He eased the sword down with his hand which cued Cassandra’s famous disgusted noise. 

Thank god for Varric— or whomever he was. As I began praising the high heavens, another voice cut through my thoughts. 

“Although this is a pressing matter, the Prisoner is more important. We should bring him back to Haven.”

I knew that lilting welsh-like accent anywhere.

I tried my best not to turn my head too quickly, watching as the bald elf carried the limp frame of the soon-to be herald on his shoulder. Two immediate thoughts hit me:

The would-be inquisitor was the same one that I spent hours on in my game-play.

This was not a larp season gone awry. 


	4. Distrust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At least someone will listen.

Cassandra gave us a weary and distrustful look before turning to Leliana. “We cannot know if they are helping the one who killed the Divine.” Her face fell for a moment as she said the words. “But Solas is right. We must continue back to Haven. Get up.” Cassandra turned towards us again, body rigid and arms crossed. I fumbled to my feet, quickly lugging up the bags in my arms and picking up a few stray cans that fell out. 

I watched as Kei did the same, hands shaking as she wordlessly stood up. We were all silent for a moment before Cassandra called for everyone to follow her and the Commander. I kept myself near the back, speaking silently to my friend. Our faces were both grim, thoughts ruled by confusion and fear. 

“What the fuck is happening.” I whispered, eyeing the people in front of us. Solas and Cassandra took turns carrying the would-be Inquisitor. “... That’s Basil.”

“Who?” Kei snapped out of whatever reverie she was in, turning her eyes towards me. She looked towards the unconscious man and raised a brow, whispering low so no one else could hear but me, “You mean the elf you spent literal hours on in the character creator?”

I nodded, walking carefully through the snow. There were charred bodies everywhere on what used to be the Temple of Sacred Ashes; many of them were on their knees, hands up in prayer and frozen in time— not unlike the city of Pompeii and its people. These were people with families; _ husbands, wives, or children _. My heart dropped, and I felt bile rise up to my throat. 

I breathed in deeply and regretted it soon after as the stench of sulfur reached my nose, I faced forward anyway as we trudged on into the snow, nearly hyperventilating but too scared to say anything.

I let myself marvel at how big the crumbling arches were above us, keeping my eyes away from the dead bodies around me. In the back of my mind, I noticed that I had begun to believe that this was real. It was hard not to, with the wind chilling my bones and how alike everyone looked to their in-game counterparts. This had to be real; no amount of pinching could wake me up from this twisted nightmare.

I wasn’t sure what Kei was thinking, her face void of emotion as we continued to walk at an agonizingly slow pace. Perhaps the constant thought of _ why us _ran through her head. Although she appeared annoyed and frustrated, I knew underneath that mask was a sensitive heart, even if she tried to hide it by being an asshole. She hated seeing suffering as much as I did.

“At least we didn’t end up like that,” she whispered. “God, what the fuck was that? Rifts aren’t supposed to do that.” A dry laugh escaped her. “Well shit, they aren’t supposed to exist either. Never mind. Ignore me.”

“_ We’re _ not supposed to be here either. And that means something is terribly terribly wrong. Or I’m insane, but I already knew that.” I breathed in again to calm my stuttering heart.

“Mhm.” She glanced up for a moment, then shuffled further away from me. I threw her a questioning look and she gestured up ahead. I turned my head and accidentally looked Cassandra in the eye. She was looking right at us and she was not happy. If looks could kill, we would have exploded on the spot. Kei made a shushing motion to me and returned to glaring at the soldier in front of her.

As we continued walking, I felt a presence by my side. I looked away from the road to see who had walked up beside me. A head of slicked back red hair and a broad smile came into view, and I tried my best not to gasp. If this world was real, then I was staring at _ the _ Varric Tethras. I watched as the charismatic storyteller eyed the both of us as he began to speak, much to Cassandra’s annoyance.

“What are you two whispering about back here?” His voice was warm, but his eyes were calculative. This man could spot a lie a mile away. In our situation, that made him the last person that we should be talking to.

“We just dropped out of a hole torn in the fabric of reality, I think we’re entitled to a little whispering,” Kei snapped. I nodded at her words, looking up to the breach in the sky.

“Woah there, Thorny. I’m not here to interrogate you, that’s the Seeker’s job.” He pointed to Cassandra at the front. “Just wondering, is all.”

Kei made a face at her new nickname as Varric turned to me. “Well, I guess I can’t blame either of you. Things are a little…” 

“Fucked?” I offered.

“That’s one way of putting it,” he chuckled. “Oh, where are my manners? I’m Varric Tethras, famous storyteller and friendly rogue.” He bowed slightly with a small smile. “And technically, fellow prisoner.”

“Great, my name’s Kei, that’s Violeta . You mind telling us what happened before we landed on you guys?” She looked apologetic as soon as she finished speaking. She really was thorny. “I just— I’m kind of stressed right now, sorry.”

As Varric began explaining what had traversed so far, I couldn't help but wince. Destroying a pride demon and sealing a giant tear in reality... I couldn't imagine all the pain Basil was going through, the mark on his hand pulsing like a cancerous tumor. 

After he was done explaining, he turned to look over before nodding his head towards Basil up ahead. “So, what’s your connection with Prisoner number one? Both of you fell from a rift.” He looked down to both of our hands. “You don’t seem to be glowing though. I suppose that's good." He chuckled quietly, awaiting our answers.

I looked over to Kei, frown set into place. Neither of us spoke right away, gathering our thoughts. We had to say something, or else the dwarf would become suspicious. 

"We know the prisoner." I started, quietly this time so Cassandra wouldn't hear us. "Basil, of clan Lavellan. He's the keeper's first, and was sent to the conclave to see the situation between the templars and mages. We were with him at the conclave, he had left— having heard something..." I stated honestly, making sure to omit the details that weren't supposed to be known. I made sure that it fit with the story line, securing Basil's innocence. Kei spoke next, voice clipped and tired.

"We were organizing our supplies," she lifted the bags on her arm as she spoke, "when things went to shit. There was a flash, screaming, and darkness. It felt like we were falling for hours. Or Running. It was weird." She heaved a sigh as she walked over a snow mound that was the same size as a human body. It probably was. 

"Sounds like a shitshow. I'm glad at least two civilians came out alive." I saw a look of hurt come across his eyes, but his mouth eased into a smile. "Sorry about the almost neck slicing, Cassandra means well." He said with a laugh, although the humor didn't reach his eyes.

We weren’t technically lying. Just obscuring the truth a little. But Varric seemed to take it as honesty, not noticing how Kei unclenched her jaw as he relaxed his questioning. The next half hour consisted of us becoming increasingly cold and increasingly frustrated. At one point I stopped, placing the bags on the snowy ground and rubbing my arms. Varric came up and knelled down with me, grabbing a bag to help. 

"Thanks. It's too damn cold for this." I stood with the other bags and followed behind. "How the hell can you take this weather with an open shirt like that?" I looked over to his glorious mound of chest hair and shook my head.

"It comes with time. I'm hairy enough to keep the warmth in." He laughed while I smiled, glad to see the grief fade away from his eyes. "Both of you look like icicles though. We're almost in Haven, it's a bit warmer there."

"Enough chatter." at the front of our group, Cassandra snapped at us. "We are almost there."


	5. Spider's silk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entangled in their own web.

* * *

We continued walking in silence, not wanting to test her. We crossed a few bridges, passing a few injured soldiers and others who were packing supplies into carts. Some looked to the passed out elf with hints of awe, others with smiles and voices of thanks. They ignored us completely, and I was glad for the anonymity. We didn't stand out too much, but we weren't dressed the same way. Both of us could probably pull off the 'we're just traveling merchants' deal, and I made sure to keep the thought to tell Kei later. 

As we came to a halt, I raised my head and couldn't hide my surprise at what I saw. 

It was Haven. Actual Haven from the game. The wooden buildings, the convoluted layout, the villagers. It was all there right in front of us. I could see Harrit walking around his forge, Adan grumbling to himself as he rushed around. Even Chancellor Roderick was standing off to the side, staring daggers at us as we passed.

This town was much larger than I could have imagined, filled to the brim with people of all races and sizes. Some were children, others elderly. I could tell that a lot of these people were refugees as well, who had been outside the conclave when everything happened. I was stuck solid to my spot, Kei pulling my arm so I would stop staring. She had done the same, but recovered much quicker than I did, hiding her surprise under a mask of indifference. 

"Solas, bring the Prisoner to one of the cabins. You two." Cassandra barked her orders towards the scholarly elf who only nodded in return. She then turned towards us, spinning on her heel with a look that was sharper than her sword. "Come with me." She signaled to Leliana, who began moving forwards. 

“I'll take the bags. I'll put them with Golden boy over here," I nodded towards Varric as he took all of our bags and giving us a look of apology. "Should have spun a story." He muttered under his breath.

"Not all of us are good storytellers like you, Ser Tethras." Kei sighed before she ran a hand over her face. Varric whistled at that, his back towards us.

"A fan, huh?" He laughed again, making his way towards where Solas was. "You better get going, the Seeker isn't patient." I gave a choked sound and grabbed Kei's arm, wanting to get away from Varric’s far- too-knowing eyes while pulling her towards the stairs and to the chantry. She shook my hand off with a look of annoyance and I mumbled an apology. 

_ Spinning a story had been the easiest part _. If only Varric knew. We weren't too close to the Seeker and Spymaster. I began to tell her my plan in a rushed whisper. 

"So, here's what I've got; We're merchants, we know Basil because we met him at the Conclave. if he doesn't remember, that's fine— we can chalk it up to the blast causing him amnesia or something." 

"And if they ask us where we're from, we can just say that we aren't from anywhere and we just live on the road.” Kei replied, nodding at the plan. She steeled her face before facing forward. As we walked through the humongous chantry, I couldn't help but look up to the high walls and mosaics with awe. The church was beautiful, and comforting; a nun spoke softly to a small crowd in front of her, words full of hope. 

We stopped at a big set of doors, its surface wooden and polished. As Cassandra pushed it open, I could see the table where the herald would take his quests and converse with his advisers. Leliana beckoned us inside, and we both made to follow. Kei made her way in first while I was stopped by a gloved hand on my shoulder.

“Leliana will talk to you after,” she stated with a frown. I nodded and did not protest, afraid of getting on Cassandra's bad side. Instead of worsening my anxiety by waiting, I turned to look around the chantry. I could hear the Chantry sister speak a few verses from the Chant, her hands spread out to the sky as she spoke. Cassandra noticed, a softness in her gaze.

“Are you Andrastinian?” I jumped as she spoke, turning slowly to look at her. 

_ Oh god. _

_ Cassandra is talking to me. _

* * *

🅺 🅴 🅸

It was the oddest feeling, walking into a room that I had only known to be two-dimensional. I could feel the heat from the torches, smell the wooden table in front of me. Every book on the shelves undoubtedly contained vast amounts of text handwritten by people in the world, people that Bioware had never thought to name. Curiosity gripped me for a moment and I forgot my fear. What would be written in books that had never been… well, written? Without the limits of a camera and a cutscene there was so much to do in just one room. But there was no time to stop and smell the metaphorical roses. I turned around as Leliana shut the door behind us. She stayed there, blocking the only exit and launched right into questions.

“How did you and your friend end up at the Conclave? You were there, right?”

My brain short-circuited for a split second. When it came back online, my first thought was, _ Oh shit they think that we might have done it, don’t they? _ Not only was that thought extremely unhelpful and terrifying, it made me stare a Leliana for a beat longer than I should have.

“The conclave was not available to just anyone,” she continued. “I know you were not one of the attendees. How did you get in?”

“We’re friends with Basil. The guy with the mark on his hand.”

“Who was not invited either.”

“...Right.” _ Great start, Kei. Way to go. _ “His clan ordered him to go to the Conclave because the rebellion was becoming a threat to them. He… doesn’t know much about human formalities and traditions so he asked us to help him blend in more.” I spoke hurriedly, trying to fill the oppressive silence. “Honestly, this whole mage-templar war is way over my head and I didn’t want to get involved—”

Leliana cut me off with a wave of her hand. “I’m not asking for your opinions.” I nodded, pretending that I wasn’t already on the verge of tears. “Where are you from?”

_ Ah, yes. Of course. Fuck me. _“Not around here, obviously. We, uh. We’re merchants. We travel to a lot of weird places so if you’re wondering about the clothing…”

She narrowed her eyes. “That’s not answering the question.”

“I don’t know,” I snapped. “I’m an orphan.” Which was an absolute fucking lie of course. Better than the truth, though.

But Leliana took my answer and temper in stride, not missing a beat. “And what about your friend?”

“You’d have to ask her that. It’s not my business to tell strangers about my friends’ lives.”

“You don’t have the luxury of choice right now.”

“And you don’t have the freedom to accuse whoever you want. We didn’t do it.” She didn’t reply. I realized that I had been on the verge of shouting at her and I mentally cursed my temper. If there was a guidebook for surviving interrogation, rule one would be, ‘don’t yell at the interrogator.’

“The tear,” I said, snapping my fingers as the answer came to me and to distract myself from my slowly declining sanity. “The one we came out of. We saw Divine Justinia and that… thing there hurting her. Basil was there too. The little shit got lost and we were trying to find him.” My mind was overclocked, trying to spin the story as fast as possible. “We were probably nearby when the explosion happened which could be how we ended up there.”

“Probably?” She frowned, thinking. “I suppose that could be possible. But how did you survive in the Fade?”

I shrugged to hide my trembling. I didn’t even think Solas would’ve been able to explain that. “How did Basil survive the thing on his hand?”

“He hasn’t survived yet,” Leliana pointed out, casually and helpfully reminding me of where we were in the plot.

We were silent again, Leliana thinking over what I had told her and me desperately trying to find any holes in the story I had just told. It seemed solid, except for the fact that when Basil woke up he would have literally no idea who we were which would cause the entire tale to come crashing down around us. Once that happened, and depending on the mood that everyone would be in on that day, we would either end up as actual prisoners or actual dead people. Because if you die in Dragon Age: Inquisition, you die in real life.

All in all, things were looking up.

“Your alibi seems solid for now,” Leliana said, “but you are still suspect.”

“Are you shitting me—”

“And we won’t be able to confirm your story until Basil wakes up,” she finished, giving me a hard stare. I bit my tongue, trying to keep calm. “If you are innocent, then you have nothing to worry about.”

“They always say that.”

We glared at each other for a moment longer. Well, I glared, she stared impassively. There was no clue anywhere on her face as to what she was thinking. And if I thought the interrogation was nerve-wracking, then her indifference was absolutely paralyzing.

“Come,” she finally said. “Let’s check on Cassandra and your friend.”

* * *

🅥 🅘 🅞 🅛 🅔 🅣 🅐

“I, uh…” I avoided Cassandra’s gaze. “I was raised with something like it... My parents were— ” My voice trailed off into nothing. My head swam with jumbled thoughts, tainted with fear. I felt myself shiver, hands coming up to my neck where the rift had grabbed hold of me. If this was real, then I had left everything behind— my home, my family— I felt my heart stop at the sudden realization that Kei and I were alone here. I could feel my eyes sting with tears. I turned my body away from the Seeker, a panic attack curling up in my throat. I forgot to take my medication this morning. Of course- “They’re gone. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

We were utterly alone, in this world full of demons and monsters and constant _ death _ . I couldn't chalk it up to a lucid nightmare with the way my nails were digging into my skin. We weren't useful here, aside from our knowledge. The stickiness of blood on my arm brought me back out of my head— I had gripped hard enough to break skin. A habit that I thought I had broken out of.

Cassandra yanked my hand away, eyes full of concern. “What— ” she began but I pulled my bloodied hand right back.

I knew my face was red from keeping my tears in. I opened my mouth to speak but could only cry out, hyperventilating. Cassandra looked around nervously, unsure of what to do. She hushed me in a motherly tone, pulling me into an embrace. I could tell she didn't hug strangers often. It took me by surprise, which made me sob even harder. To her, I probably seemed so frail, so small. Someone who has not seen war. 

“Why us? What did we do to deserve this?” I felt embarrassed, angry, and most of all, tired. I moved my hands to wrap around Cassandra’s armored torso, yearning for any comfort the cold surface of her armor could give me. A part of me didn’t know why I started panicking right away- perhaps it was because I hadn’t taken my medication, or the months of self destruction finally broke me. 

My voice came in hiccups; I was so scared—_ will us being here change things? What if one of us died?_ “I’ll never be able to see my family again. They’re gone. And we’re stuck here— ” 

Cassandra patted my back awkwardly as the door behind her opened. Leliana stepped out with Kei at her side, their faces grim. Kei’s jaw was clenched tightly, like she was seconds away from shattering her teeth.

“I’ve heard enough.” Leliana eyed me with seemed like pity and I ripped myself away from Cassandra like a deer in the headlights. “They aren’t guilty of anything… thus far.” Cassandra looked away, guilt causing her to turn away from us.

“We must have been too harsh...” Cassandra mumbled, hands clenched. I wiped my face with a bloody hand, shaking my head. 

Kei cautiously stepped away from Leliana. When no one moved to stop her, she came up next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. “Everything good?” Her eyes were watery and her voice sounded strained as she talked. Clearly, everything was not good with both of us.

“If only you two could  _ listen _ instead of poking everyone with swords the moment you see something different!” I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air. I couldn’t stop myself from speaking, crying still. “And if you believed us guilty, you would have tried to smite us because  _ of course _ everyone you don’t know is possessed!” I pointed towards both of them as if I were scolding a child. They said nothing, and I turned on my heel. I could feel them staring into our backs. “You never even asked for our names! I bet you didn’t ask Basil his either!” 

Behind me, Cassandra went to stop us, but a hand on her arm made her pause.

“Leave them be for now.” was the last thing I heard from the Spymaster as I rushed out of the chantry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, some context  
Since these characters are based off us, the writers, please note that some things may sound super sudden or such. Our writing styles reflect how we feel; it may not be realistic to some! I appreciate the kudo's we've gotten so far! Thank you for reading and let me know if there's any typos or awkward sentences. 
> 
> This chapter helped me go through some stuff; it was mostly a vent and i feel much more refreshed now. :)


	6. A short conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no place left for us.

“Let’s stop by Adan’s to get you something for your arm,” Kei whispered in a poor attempt to hide her exhaustion and rapidly dwindling patience. She gripped my uninjured arm, pulling me in the direction of the apothecary. I could feel myself crying still, silently this time. We passed by Solas’s cabin on the way to Adan’s home, the elf nowhere to be seen. “He’s probably tending to Basil, come on.” Kei ushered me into Adan’s cabin and I complied, turning to the grumbling man in front of her.

“Oh goody. Another wounded warrior, seeking my aid.” He sounded anything but thrilled.

“Yep!” Kei replied, smiling the brightest and fakest smile that she could. “Just need something for a minor wound and then we’ll fuck right off. Sound good?”

“That’s the best deal I’ve been offered all day.” He turned to his half-stocked shelves and picked up a small bottle containing a bright red liquid. “I don’t have much left,” he said as he handed Kei the bottle. “That elf took a lot of it with him. ‘For the Herald,’ he said. What about the rest of us?” he grumbled. “Spread some of that stuff on the wound and cover it with those.” I grabbed one of the questionably clean cloth bandages that he pointed to. “If it’s minor and you haven’t let it sit and fester like the rest of these idiots, it should heal in a week or so. Do  _ not _ drink it.” His eyes bored into mine until I nodded my understanding. “Good, now get out.”

We stopped outside of Solas’ cabin. Kei handed me the bottle and pried my hand off my arm. “You use that, I’ll bandage it,” she ordered.

“I can do it— ”

“Shhh. Shush. Shut up.” She pulled the bandages away from me and pointed at my arm. “Do it.” I made a small noise of disagreement but listened. The contents of the bottle were cold and semi-solid, like jam. It spread easily onto my arm. It made unpleasant squishing sounds as Kei wrapped the bandage around it. She tied it a little too tightly but I didn’t complain. With an exaggerated flourish, she put her hands on her hips and nodded at a job well done.

“Do you want to talk?” Kei asked tentatively, dropping the fake enthusiasm. “I mean, you pretty much told Seeker Cassandra Allegra Port-whatever to go fuck herself.” She laughed shakily and ran a hand through her hair. “Probably not the best idea.”

“We’re already fucked.” I tried my best not to yell, looking down at my arm. “I don't— ” I began, tears already threatening to spill again. “I don’t understand why we’re here. I can’t even fight- we’re nobodies.” I moved to lean my head on her shoulder, feeling too woozy to stand up straight. 

“I know Karate?” Kei suggested, shaking her head. “That’s all we’ve got.” I nodded and lifted myself from her shoulder as she continued talking. “First things first, we’ve got to find a place to sit the fuck down.” She began to move towards the gates of Haven before being stopped by a low voice beside us.

“How’re you both holding up?” I looked over to Varric, smiling a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was sitting in the same position the Herald would find him when he first woke up. “Did the Seeker cause any trouble?”

Kei went to speak after a second, noticing my silence. Her voice was tinged with an edge of annoyance that she didn’t attempt to hide. “I know people want answers, but damn.” She grit her teeth as she ran a hand through her hair. “It’s like if you’re not immediately and obviously on the same side you’ve got to be an enemy, no exceptions.” She looked away, sighing. 

“It’s a Fereldan thing. At least you’re not in Orlais.” Varric huffed out, cracking his fingers and leaning back to look at the sky. I couldn’t help but remember the countless times we gushed over Varric and his extreme sarcasm and charm. “But keep an eye out— people will think you suspicious since you fell out of a rift.” It was no longer fun when it was real.

“Don’t remind me. I’m starting to think I’m suspicious too.” Kei gave a snort before turning towards the gates. Varric heaved out a sigh and motioned with his hands to where I was.

“I meant to ask before— what are those… things on your face? I don’t think I've seen those around. Are they Dwarven?” He pointed to my glasses, forcing me to mumble out a reply. My voice sounded hoarse, and I inwardly winced.

“Kinda? From where I’m from, they call them glasses. I’m basically blind without them.” He squinted at me, checking for lies before shaking his head in disbelief. I sniffed, wiping away at the snot dripping from my nose. At least the storyteller didn’t comment on my appearance too much.

“They correct… your eyesight? Can’t you just get them fixed with magic or something?” He seemed to deflate a little. “ You guys really got the short end of the stick, huh? I need a drink.” He stood suddenly, hands rubbing at his eyes. “All that fighting left me exhausted. Find me later if you need anything.” He waved a goodbye as he made his way towards the tavern.

“What I need is a swift kick to the head. Time to freeze to death in the streets I guess.” Kei muttered as i shook my head, thinking for a moment as I wracked my brain for somewhere to stay.

“Oh! Let’s get to the abandoned shack that the notes are in. We can just… stay there. I don’t think anyone will come looking for us any time soon.” I let out a breath of relief, shuffling towards the outskirts of town. 

“Well, when they do come looking for us, I think we’ll need a more solid alibi.” Kei jogged to catch up to me. “Your character won’t recognize us right? Whatever I vomited at Leliana isn’t going to hold up. The last thing we want is for the fucking  _ Spymaster _ to figure out we’re lying, if she hasn’t already. In that case we’ll either wake up in the morning with more swords at our throats and lots more angry people, or we won’t wake up at all,” she finished hurriedly. “I don’t know about you, but I really,  _ really _ would rather not deal with that shit.”

I remained silent, not quite sure of what to say. She was right. Basil would have no idea who we were. The lie bought us a little time, but it wasn’t much.

Three days. By my calculations, that’s how long Basil was supposed to be out for.

Three days to keep the lie going. Three days to not draw attention to ourselves and let people know that we really didn’t belong here. Three days to find a way back home.

It really wasn’t a lot of time.


End file.
